Stupid.

So, I was thinking. (as I always am)

I've thought this thought before, but only until now has it really dawned on me.

Most of the time, when people don't understand things, they automatically label it as stupid.

And I had this thought, as I was looking at a book that I had just bought from the thrift store. This book is called, "A Sense of Honor" by James Webb. It's kind of like an old, random, war book dealing with the Marines. (I've been reading and collecting weird, random, and different books lately) I had thought about a war book that I had read before (called Solider X) and loved to death. I realized that the reason why I never read war novels or storys was because I had never understood them. The words, I never had any clue what they meant, the feelings the soldiers went through, I had no understanding of, I knew nothing of guns, code names of the battlefield, therefore, causing me to not understand the books of war. And therefore, causing me to dislike and have an uninterest with war novels.

When I have met like die hard war-stuff fans, or people that had been in the wars, army, marines, navy or something of the sort, I tended to look upon their passion towards those things as stupid. I mean, I would think, "They go out to war, kill people with their silly guns, and die. Whats so special about that?!" And now I see I found it stupid, for the simple reason of not understanding it.

My advice to you: If anything to learn in life, learn to understand.

Exaustion.

So, today is just another boring day for me. I almost feel I've never been so bored in my life, ha. Although, I know I have. I'm such a human. Allways complaining. Why can't I ever just be satisfied with knowing I'm alive?

Sighs echo throughout my insides as my eyes glisten in golden tears mourning over my sad existence. What a worthless chreacher I am! All I ever do is waste my time being bored and complaining while waisting time on what I could be doing here! I've been given, by God, so many skills that I should be putting to use but, I just feel like garbage today. Just complete trash. Like a wasted paper with nothing written on, wadded up in the garbage can.

I just...I just want to do something big with my life but, I lack motivation to do so. And when I did have that motivation, I had the wrong heart, the wrong mind, the wrong soul. And no way of doing it. But now I have almost all the opportunities of the world! But instead I say, "I just don't feel like it. I just don't feel like doing anything."

How stupid of a human I am!

Blind Faith.

So today I have an ear infection and I can't hear out of my right ear.

I became really excited at one point today and my heart started racing from the excitement.

Well, since I am basically deaf in my right ear (for now, at least) and it made it even harder for me to hear others speak. The noise just became quite annoying and reminded me every second of how I am alive and my body was working.

So I was thinking...

Is that all deaf people hear?
They live every day seeing things move, peoples lips move, read about noisy buttons, watch emotion change on peoples faces, seeing people watching people on TV and watching the person become interested and amused on what the person on TV says and no noise....

Yet, all they can hear is their own heart thumping in their ear?

And what about a blind person who has been blind since birth?

They can hear everything that goes around them, even better than most people, but how would they ever begin to picture what the person who is talking to them looks like, when they have no real knowledge of what a shape even is?

The world is so complex, how would they picture a bird in their mind; when everyone describes things by comparing them to things that they already know what the thing looks like to describe something?

Most people need to see it to believe it, but if you can't see anything, then how are you going to believe anything? You would have to put all of your trust in others without really knowing, and never being able to truly know, which would be similar to a blind faith.